Tales of the Parodyverse

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L!
Mon Jan 10, 2005 at 05:56:10 pm EST
Subject
A look into a possible future
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It's a cold, rainy morning at the Oscar P. Johnson Cemetery. Gathered there is a large group of Mourners. Most are wearing black, others are wearing fantastic costumes, but also have black arm bands with a symbol on it, a symbol of a fallen friend. Most everyone are holding umbrellas, a few are sitting under a tent that is also covering the casket.

They are gathered in the fallen heroes section of the cemetery, most of the people buried in that section were members of the armed forces but today's burial is different. The person who died was not part of the armed forces but he was a hero.

"Today, we lay to rest one of the world's finest. He saved us all & we own him a debt of gratitude. It's a debt we can not repay. Fredrick was hero without equal some would say. He was often a confidante & friend to many a hero. Fredrick was hero who, yes, cared about himself, but always seemed to care more for others. It is easy to dismiss that something special that made him a hero because he had powers & abilities far beyond those of your average man. But, a hero is not measured by what his powers may be, but by the courage he shows in living and the warmth he holds in his heart. Let his courage give us courage. Let his love give us love, and let his hope give us hope. Fredrick Hogarth Harris is & was a hero who will not be forgotten." said Pastor Mulcahy.

Then, Pastor Mulcahy asks the crowd. "Does anyone have an remarks they would like to share ?"

Fredrick's wife gets up from her chair. "Fred gave his life for us on that spring day in may. He knew the dangers of what he did, they were always on his mind when he was in and out of his costume. I know that because you could see it in his eyes that he was mostly lost in thought about other people & what he could do for them. I think he knew that that day would be his last battle but he went into battle with the same gusto he always had. We have been blessed to have Fred touch each one of our lives. Ham-Boy is dead, may our memory of him live forever!" She said, then she started to get choked up & sat down. Then, she started to cry.

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The rain had stopped by the time the ceremony ended, some people went over to put flowers onto the casket. Janis Harris, Fred's mother, cries as she places a pork roast shaped bouquet on the casket. Amazing Boy places a bouquet next to hers. A SPUD agent places some flowers on the casket. Harlagaz places his bouquet on the casket, then turns to comfort the Mrs. Harris'. He places his hand on Janis's shoulder & says "It wilst be all right. I'm doth know that yon Fredrick is in Valhalla right now looking down on us."

"I'm sure he is." Janis said between tears.

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Later on at the Harris' Farm, people came there to remember the man who was Ham-Boy. The turn out of friends & family was good. Most of the people who Ham-Boy had worked with over his long career have showed up. In attendance were most of the The Lair Legion: Task Force. Some of the former members of The Lair Legion Junior were there. Some of the surviving members of the still unnamed Super Hero Team Ham-Boy was part of in Iowa showed up, a couple agents of SPUD were there & countless other heroes were scattered among the crowd. Even most of the Ham-Boy's Fan Club & the employee's of the Ham-Boy Museum showed up. The museum was closed that day, they felt this was more important.

Both sides of Fred's & his wife, Amy's family have shown up. Which was nice since most of Amy's family hasn't talked to or seen her in years. A few of Ham-Boy's villains showed up, but no one really payed much attention to them. Most of the villains who were considered to be Ham-Boy villains' were incarcerated. So, the villains that did show up, very few people knew who they were. The population of Piney Oaks, HB's home town, has easily doubled for this one event.

Amy Harris was talking to one of the guest. She notices someone pulling on her dress. She looks down & little Freddy Jr. is there, looking up at her. "Yes, Fred?" she said, as she picked him up.

Freddy Jr., being shy around people he doesn't know, whispers into his mom's ear.

"Yes, Fred. You can go play with Glory." She says then puts him down & he runs over to Glory. She was standing over by her partner, Mr. Epitome. He was having a conversation with Greg Burich, Security Adviser to President Hopkins.

Amy looks at Freddy as he starts to play with Glory. Then, she turns her attention back to who she was talking, too. "Now, what were we saying, Jack ?"

Across the way from Amy stood a collection of the LL: Task Force (Whitney the Improbable, CrazySugarFreakAdult!, Harlagaz, NTU-165, Deadshot. Also with them is their Leader & World President, Mark Hopkins.) Also, standing with them is honorary member, Amazing Boy.

"Tis a sad day." Harlagaz said in a mournful tone.

"Yeah, it is. I remember when I assumed the mantle of Amazing Guy from my dad & how HB helped me during those early days. Hammy will truly be missed." Amazing Boy said, remembering those days fondly. The group nods & thinks about there experiences with Ham-Boy.

"How about the couple of times Hammy went up against The Yurt, talk about mismatched combatance ?" CSFA! said, trying to lighten the situation. There were nods from the group but most of them stood there in silence, remembering HB in there own silent ways. Mark's fern even seems sad.

From another group, Sue Irving asks her husband. "Doesn't our son look so amazing, pardon my pun, with his group ?"

"Yeah." Tom said, not really paying attention. Then, he thought "I just can't believe that Ham-Boy is gone ? Why didn't I know this was going to happen ? My Cosmic Senses are still working & they would have warned me about his death." He thought.
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A few months later, a man walks up the small hill to the statue that was placed over Ham-Boy's grave. It was of Fred in costume, standing there triumphantly & looks like he was about to go into battle against some foe. The Statue was made of a fine marble paid for by The Lair Legion: Task Force & the Ham-Boy Fan Club collectively.

"So, it's true. I heard you died but I didn't believe it until now." said Robert Crunch, the former villain known as the Evil Captain Crunch & considered by most to be Ham-Boy's only true foe. Robert gave up being a villain a few years earlier. The third & final version of his group, The Disgruntles, died during an accident which he could have prevented. After a six month stay at a hospital, Robert gave up being a villain & after a short jail sentence, which was shorten because of good behavior, he now lives on the open seas in his boat & hardly comes to the main land.

Robert pays his respects silently, places a rose near the base of the statue & walks away. The base of the statue is covered in flowers left by friends, family, fans & foes. You almost can't see the inscription on the base:


Fredrick Hogarth Harris AKA Ham-Boy
January 27, 1983-May 18, 2020
Earth's Meatiest Hero!


The End.



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